Aspergers

Wow, one month already.  

Hey, Alex; what do you mean one month?

Well, Jesus Christ would you let me finish my goddamn thought. At midnight, when it becomes May 25, it will be one month since I found out (maybe) have Asperger's- which is capitalized so you know it's important. I first learned of this while, in a drunken stupor, someone said, "Hey Alex, do you have Asperger's?" At first I was like "omg wtf is aspergers lolz.:" But then, something crazy happened: EVERYONE FUCKING AGREED WITH HER. "Yeah, I've wondered that too" was the general consensus around the room, which just added to my alcohol-enhanced confusion. I decided, "Hey let's look this up (I definitely didn't spell Asperger's wrong like three times) and prove these people wrong. Yeah, right.

Some symptoms of Asperger's (from webmd.com) include:

1. Problems with social skills
2. Eccentric or repetitive behaviors
3. Unusual preoccupations or rituals
4. Communication difficulties
5. Limited range of interests
6. Coordination problems
7. Skilled or talented

Now let's see if those symptoms match up to my behaviors:

1. HAHAHAHAHA yes
2. HAHAHAHAHA yes 
3. HAHAHAHAHA yes  
4. HAHAHAHAHA yes 
5. HAHAHAHAHA yes  
6. surprisingly no
7. I tweet more than I should so *shrugs*

Now, let's imagine you are VERY DRUNK WHEN YOU FOUND ALL OF THIS OUT. It was super hilarious (I actually think I high-fived people, but don't quote me on that), and I basically ignored it and talked about various NBC shows (fuck you, Colin Jost) with a bunch of ladies until I randomly walked out mid-conversation (I think). In the month since that wonderful, extremely confusing night, several things have faded, mostly the conversation pieces (IF SOMEONE COULD TELL ME WHAT I TALKED ABOUT THAT WOULD BE GREAT) but one thing has remained: the Asperger's. Do I actually have Asperger's, hell maybe, but I guess the mystery is a part of the fun. So, I won't consult a doctor AHAHAHA.

PS: Parents and relatives get all defensive if you say you might have Asperger's so just don't mention it, OK?

Disclaimer: I literally give no shits if I have Asperger's or not I am just more bored than you can even imagine right now so this is happening.